Recently I declared war on a mini pony who lives at my house (I rent on a boarding facility) and although it was my fault that I left the gate open that allowed my dog to get out of my backyard and into the pasture where the large mini pony (large in comparison to my dog), whom I have nicknamed “Boxer” for his loyal and dimwitted personality, chased my dog around the field. Yes, it was the most entertainment I had ever had at 4:30am, watching my dog being chased by a mini pony. But there is something I do not trust about ponies that are so cute you are forced to stop and feed them sugar cubes, even though you can never ride them!! Luckily for me, this woman has taught me that with nothing more than a pair of rollerblades, a quick release knot tied to my belt, and a bridle, I can successfully tame the beast!
This woman not only tells us that we can tame those crazy minis, but we can do it in the comfort of our own homes! Heck, we can even own white carpets without worry of the soil of horsie accidents! (Being that I just shoveled poop in the rain for 30 min and slipped in mud/poop mixture, a horse that doesn’t poop sounds AMAZING!) Now I don’t have to wait for Seattle rains to stop, nor that horrible summer heat that usually keeps me from going on a brisk trail ride. Nope, now I can roll off the couch after watching 10 year old reruns of Buffy, and have the mini drag me to the bathroom with minimal movement! No more of that pesky walking!
I was always told not to rollerblade in the house or walk on the carpet with my paddock boots on when I was a kid, but I am sure my renters insurance will definitely cover a mini pony’s hoof to my TV. TAKE THAT MOM!! Plus it makes vet’s “house calls” way more literal for them!!
Usually my thinking is that if your legs are dangling below the belly (and unfortunately I have majorly long legs, so my dreams of riding a pony have been dead for a long while) you should not ride the pony. We now have the solutions! With just a trusty pair of rollerblades and a few straps of miscellaneous materials I can finally live out my childhood dreams of riding a mini pony and winning all the blue ribbons!
By: El Polo Loco