This is the story of our horse and the responsibility we have to our horses.
The horse in my pasture has a ‘hitch in his giddy-up’. It’s noticeable when he walks down the concrete aisle to his stall for feeding; then again, as he makes his way back out to his pasture when he is done. He isn’t young. He isn’t old. He isn’t worn down from a hard life, in fact he’s been pretty spoiled in the attentive care he’s received since he was born on a small farm in Northern Virginia, and then under our care from the age of 6 to his now ripe old age of 17. But this change in him has caused me to reflect on his impact on our family and our responsibility to him.
He really shouldn’t be alive in the first place. His dam was a very well bred racing Thoroughbred (TB) who was injured on the track and suddenly her future in racing was over. For whatever reason, her owners at the time decided the best thing to do was to have her euthanized and file the insurance claim on her. So that is what they did … sort of. Fast forward a couple years later.
We were looking for a horse for our daughter – I will call her C. We had leased with option to purchase on several horses but that was a disaster. Not in the horses we choose, but it was the owners that repeatedly did us in. Each time we would try out a horse and get it schooled to the level that my daughter was winning ribbons, the owners of the horse suddenly got cold feet. Lease #1 changed their mind and wanted to keep (the now fit, schooled and winning) horse for themselves; lease #2 decided the (now fit, schooled and winning) horse was now worth TWICE what we agreed on (yes, dummy me did not get the original price in writing); and lease #3 decided to donate the horse to the National Park Police Horse Mounted Unit in Washington D.C and we watched the horse in the inaugural parade for then President Bush. Okay, so in hindsight, the last one was pretty cool … but still rather disappointing for our daughter.
C gave me her wish list: not a chestnut, not a gelding and not a TB. Our trainer told us about a mare that she knew was for sale. She was a 4 year old green TB but had a good head on her shoulders. From the moment we saw her we thought, she’s the one. She was beautiful; a gorgeous bay with good size to her (not a fine bone TB at all) and just the kindest eyes. C got on her and as much as we wanted it to be a perfect match, it wasn’t. The mare did everything right, but you could just tell they just didn’t click. C finished up the ride and was ready to take her home, but I could see there wasn’t the light in her eyes that I had seen when she had been on other horses. She wanted so desperately to have a horse of her own, but I just wasn’t convinced this was a right match and neither was C deep down. The trainer mentioned that the mare had a brother also on the farm that was probably for sale and we could try him if we wanted. We figured what the heck, we were already out there we might as well check him out.
The ‘brother’ was a 6 year old monster of a horse. Green but still schooled, 17 hands and 1,700 pounds of plain boring chestnut. C wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a gelding, let alone a chestnut gelding, but was game to try him. From the moment she got on him I could tell this was something different. They were in perfect rhythm with each other. Neither really knew what to expect from the other but when C got down there was a sparkle in her eye. We informed the owner we were interested and wanted to know his breeding. What I can say is that his sire is Full Circle, a very accomplished TB jumper on the east coast. His dam … well, she was standing in the next paddock, but we were told, “She’s dead”. What? This was our first foray into the shady world of horses – but that is another story.
The dam was given to this barn owner behind closed doors. Her track owners gave the vet orders to have her put down and then processed the mortality insurance claim as if she really was dead. Now, in all honesty, I do not know the circumstances of her ending up living, breathing and breeding on this farm in Northern Virginia. Was it the vet that intervened to save her? Was it the previous owner? Was it some third party? Who knows? All I know is that this “dead” horse gave birth to 3 beautiful offspring on that little farm: a gorgeous bay mare, a gorgeous bay gelding (not for sale) and the big ole chestnut that my daughter was already beginning to fall in love with.
So, now we were the proud owners of our new chestnut, gelding, TB – who we will call, D. D and C had a great relationship. D tried, C tried, and they both succeeded and failed as a team. If they did not get a good ribbon at a show, C was quick to point out it didn’t matter, “… because he was still the best.” She didn’t really care for showing although it was very clear he loved it. D would enter the ring and put on his ‘look at me’ face and off they went. Good, bad, wrong lead, wrong direction, it didn’t matter – D was perfect in her eyes and he would do anything for her – jump anything for her!
After a couple years we started noticing a change. A slight limp here, a short stride there; nothing huge but not to be completely dismissed either. We had the vets look at him and they recommended some rest and easy workouts. It seemed to work. Then a couple weeks and months later we would notice it again. So we would go back to rest and easy workouts. But the odd thing is that we couldn’t seem to identify a specific thing wrong. It was like the lameness would travel. So we began to try alternative treatments: acupuncture and chiropractic work. Both seemed to improve the situation but still, no specific diagnosis. Then one of the horses in the barn was diagnosed with Lyme disease. We had already made an appointment for later that month to take him to a specialist in Fredericksburg, VA for a complete bone scan to figure out what was going on with him, but we decided to do a quick blood test to rule out Lyme. The test came back positive. We immediately began the 30 day treatment and put the bone scan on the back burner.
Several months later D was declared free from Lyme disease but the damage was done. Several disks in D’s back were destroyed and he now has at least 3 kissing back bones that cause him pain. D was also discovered to have severely torn his left hind digital flexor tendon. We are still not sure if that was the cause of the original discomfort or if he sustained it because he was compensating for a sore back by altering his gate. Either way, when the flexor tendon healed (after a year on stall rest at our ranch) it caused a buildup of scar tissue that is now a constant source of pressure and irritation in his leg.
So, now we are at a crossroads. D has lived happily as a yard ornament in our pasture for the past several years. He does not get ridden but continues to get the full range of vaccinations, vet and farrier care in addition to twice daily grain and hay 24/7. He pretty much lives his days hanging out and being the handsome funny boy that he is. He is pasture sound which basically means he is sound at the walk. At the trot he is noticeable uncomfortable although he will still occasionally trot out there on his own. He is the leader of our herd so he travels at his own pace, when and where he wants and always has first dibs at the hay. He has had a good life even with his limitations. I believe we have done right by him up to this point. However, he is beginning to show signs that his comfort level is changing.
As I watch him walk, and as he brings his left hind leg forward, it pauses ever so slightly about 5 inches above the ground and moves in a slightly circular motion before he drops it flat on the ground. The other hind leg also pauses and drops flat but doesn’t seem so disoriented. Sometimes he will step out with his hind legs and then instead of his foot hitting the ground, it comes back about an inch before it hits – often toe first or completely flat. It’s almost as if his leg isn’t quite long enough for his stride. He is much slower moving on the flat and going downhill he takes small steps and his nose will nearly touch the ground. It’s as if his back is unable to compensate for the terrain variations.
So I am now left to spend my days thinking about what is the right thing to do.
I spent a couple hours last night in the company of a man who was recently suffered a broken neck when he came off a horse. The man was still in a neck brace when he explained that he wanted people to understand it was not the horse that caused this accident, it was him. He put his own needs and desires ahead of the horse. You see, he is entering this horse in a competition in a couple weeks – training time is limited. It had rained the night before. The ground was wet and slippery and he knew it. He had already had a good session in the arena with the horse and initially thought about ending it there however, he only had a couple weeks left and there was so much HE wanted to do to show everyone what a great horse she was, and darn it, HE wanted to win! Even though he hesitated knowing he should end on a good note, he decided to take her out on a trail ride because he wanted a little more.
Now anyone who knows this man can attest, he is the first one to tell you to stop on a success. To listen to your horse. To not push it. LOL! Well, he admits, he didn’t heed his own preachings and that is how he got his first ever helicopter ride – albeit, there wasn’t much of a view as he was strapped to a backboard. Sure, he screwed up but he was right there to tell you he screwed up, and why he screwed up and how not to screw up like he did. As he so eloquently put it, he “put himself before the horse”. He didn’t listen the horse who was slipping in the mud on the trail, or to himself who was saying maybe we should quit for today. Simple as that.
I have been thinking about that a lot. Am I putting myself before my horse? I have been thinking about D out in that pasture. He has all the hay he could possibly eat and a trough full of water. He has herd mates to keep him company. He has fresh air, trees to nap under and plenty of space to meander around. But if all my research and knowledge is correct, horses are relatively stoic creatures. Meaning, they are not going to show pain (limp, flinch, etc.) unless it’s more than just a little pain. If they did, in nature they would be culled from the herd by predators. It’s just nature’s way of making sure the strongest survive. I’ve seen horses with a barely perceptible “off-ness” to have their back palpated and have them drop nearly to their knees. I have no doubt D is in pain, but I have no way of knowing how much and how much is too much. I also need to consider if I can realistically, and by that in all likelihood I mean financially, improve his comfort level.
To have his back surgically repaired starts at $2,500, and it would be another $1,500 to repair his leg by cutting the tendon to relieve the pressure from the scar tissue and sever the nerve. Even if the back surgery was successful the severed nerve is permanent. He would be able to move his leg but wouldn’t register pain – not exactly a recipe for disaster but certainly something to consider with a horse that lives 23 hours a day in a pasture with other horses. Who is kidding who? The reality is I will not pay for his surgery(s).
So what if I just let him live out in my pasture moving as much as he is comfortable, doing what horses do. What am I doing? Who am I putting first? Am I putting him first simply because I am letting him live? Do horses stand around and think about living or dying? Of course not. Their brains do not work like ours. This is not a movie or a fairytale. This is reality. However, as long as he is alive, people will think I’m a wonderful and kind person for allowing him to live out his life and my daughter will be happy knowing her horse alive.
So what if I have him put down? What am I doing? Who am I putting first? By seeing his ‘hitch’ I know that he is uncomfortable. By knowing his history I know that he is progressively getting worse. If I were to take him to the vet and have him put down he would not worry about getting in the trailer – in fact, he would practically jump in! He would show up at the vet looking bright eyed, bushy tailed and healthy to all onlookers; however at the slightest pressure on his back he will easily drop 12 inches away from your hand. As the vet administered the first shot, D would be happy to see the vet because he really loves people and interacting with them. He would drift off to sleep. The second shot would stop his heart and his life would be over. People would ask why he was put down and I would say because he was in pain. They would either think I am a wonderful and kind person for allowing him a dignified passing or they would think I am selfish for not just letting him live out there in the pasture because frankly, I have the land and could afford to just let him be a horse out there.
Maybe I should let him ‘tell me when its time’ as so many have said? Is that true or just a bunch of crap that humans say to make themselves feel better? Because if we listened to our horses more we wouldn’t get to the point of them screaming at us as they so often do. In most cases, if your horse is limping then there was already something wrong way before the limp became obvious. Sure there are exceptions, but from my experience they don’t ‘fake it’ as much as people would like to believe. They also don’t talk to each other when the barn lights go out – just sayin.
Now I’m not saying that every injured horse should be put down. I am saying that if the injury is not repairable and the horse is hurting, then it is definitely something to consider. If your horse is hurting and its going to get worse why would you let it get worse when you can do something about it? When you can prevent the pain and suffering. Who are you putting first?
There will never be another D regardless of his future. Dead or alive will not change that he was our first horse, a wonderful addition to our lives, an opportunity for learning and growing, a funny boy who loves to have his tongue scratched, who loves the vet even when he/she approaches with a ‘big ass’ needle, who was the best lead line pony (ummm, 17 hands!) and who genuinely loves children and small animals. He is a character and no one will ever take that away from him. He taught our daughter so many things and she is a better woman because he was the man in her life for so many years. I will always love him for that – we will all love him for that. It is for that reason I hope we will always try to put him first – he deserves it.
—-
Guest post submitted by: TD
26 Comments
I would vote for letting him tell you when it’s time, in this case.
That’s what *I* would do, if this was my horse. It’s hard to assess quality of life from the outside, which is all we can do with animals, but if you really pay attention.
And you are so right about horses being stoic about pain. I know one horse who might have been saved…if he had given us ANY sign he had navicular until his ankles were basically destroyed. He was trotting sound in the morning and unable to walk in the evening. It sucked.
Boy, i don’t envy your decision, but if it were me i’d also vote for letting him “tell” you when it’s time. I know it’s hard to judge what kind of pain he’s in, but if he’s still happy to get to his hay, to greet up his pasture mates as well as the humans and animal around the farm, then I’d say he’ hasn’t had enough yet.
Ultimately, it is your horse and your decision and I genuinely believe that you have his best interests in mind. Good luck!
the problem with letting them tell you is its hard to know when they are telling you. I have a 25 yr old gelding that I worry about with this daily. He has arthritis in his pelvis and back fetlocks. Hes pasture/light riding sound for about an hour then he gets a hitch in his giddup so to speak. Bout the time I think hes “ready to go” and I am ready to make that call, he perks up again. This spring he lost a bunch of wt, had the vet out and he had 3 bad teeth removed. He perked up after that, put wt back on and has looked fab all summer. But now its fall, grass is gone and horses are on hay and he lost wt again. Hes on a ton of senior feed and beet pulp. and its sort of helped. His eyes are bright and hes still pasture boss but thinner than I like. Winter is coming and it gets darn cold up here in MN. Do I make that call now before he gets miserable or wait till he goes down hill more and asks to be let go?? whats better for him? Tough one….This horse has been my horsie soul mate since he was 7, hes 25 now. I think that makes it harder….
Good luck with your decision…. I can see both sides. Thanks for sharing your well thought out process. I have a 25 year old Appy who is still going strong, but I know I will be making the same decision some day……
I had certain criteria set in my head for my mare. The day she didn’t whinney at me, (she whinnied at me every day for twenty years) the day she didn’t take off like a bat of hell when I turned her out, and the day she went under 650 lbs (she had kidney failure due to Cushings).
I went to see her during my lunch break. (I was feeding her three times a day) She didn’t whinney, I turned her out, she took one step and looked at me. It was then I knew, she told me, she was done. I called the vet right then and there so I wouldn’t chicken out after I left the barn. Made all the arrangements. That evening all her special friends came out and said good bye. She was spoiled that evening. My son (who had been riding her for several years) and her took a nice walk, to this day I don’t know what they said to each other. She she and I took our final walk and watched the sunset together. Something that we did when we rode our thousands of miles out on trail together. The next day she was gone. She went out on her terms, although she’s been gone three years this Sunday, I still teared up writing this. I still miss that mare. But I had to put quality of life first, not quanity. For me I’d rather do it a day to soon rather than a day to late.
I’ve got one that has been gone (on her own terms, too) for 21 years this Thanksgiving, and reading your description made ME tear up. Yes, the day the light was gone from her eyes, and she didn’t hobble up for supper was the day I called the vet. By the time he got here the next day, she was down. I told her that this “one more shot” was going to take away all her pain this time (the vet. who had known her for 20 years, had to turn his back), gave her that shot, she let out one long, shuddering sigh, and was still. The months before that, wondering if every day would be her last, and the 20 years of missing her have been worse than that moment was. That moment was the right moment.
My 23 year old can stay here as long as he wants. He deserves a safe and happy retirement for his 20 years of show ring service. He doesn’t have to do anything now, but eat. Not a mark or bump on him and 100% sound.( knock on wood ). Only when he tells me he’s had enough will I make the call.
I don’t think anyone who is not familiar with your gelding can tell you what is right and what is wrong. It is obvious you love him and want to do right by him. Such hard decisions. There is a mare at my board facilities that has an extreme case of navicular. – the vet recommended she be humanely euthanized. The owner has to this day refused.. She is well cared for but in obvious pain. She has turned sour and aggressive.Seeing this on a daily basis, and seeing the change in temperament and obvious discomfort yes I have strong thoughts on what should be done – but without seeing and knowing your gelding, all I can offer you is the strength and courage to do what is right for your gelding.
This pas May, I had to put my beloved 15 year old boxer to sleep. She was the love of my life and I am still grieving but I have no doubt it was the right thing to do. I owed her a graceful and dignified passing. And yes I cradled her in my arms till the end. My heart goes out to you and your family and your gelding.
I think if you know your horse well enough, and are willing to put them down when it’s time, they can tell you when they have to go. A friend of mine recently put down her stallion, who she’d had for 11 or 12 years, from the time he was 4 and she was 16, and as far as I could tell, she spent every moment she possibly could with him (at one point, she ended up having to live over an hour away and still drove all that way almost every day to see him), and treated every moment as though it could be their last. He was noticeably sick for about 6 weeks before they figured out what was wrong with him (cancer, so bad that even if they’d caught it when he first started showing signs, it probably would’ve been too late). Throughout that whole time, he was still happy, still acting as normal as he could, doing his tricks (he was trick trained, and loved to perform spontaneously). She’d always said the day he refused his carrots and apples, she would know. Two days after taking him home from his MRI scan at the vet school, she offered him some treats. He walked up to her and her husband, ignored the treats, and walked away, and she knew he was ready to go. The next day, they threw a goodbye party and spoiled him rotten, and the day after that, put him down.
But no matter what, it’s a tough call – you have to consider whether you know the horse well enough to hear him when he’s telling you he’s done, and you have to consider whether the horse trusts you enough to tell you he’s in pain, and you have to consider the future too. That was the deciding factor when my coach decided it was time to put her daughter’s miniature pony down – She was very old (everyone thought she was about 31, turns out she was probably closer to 38 or 39), and had difficulty eating the tougher bits of hay, but the main thing was she was starting to have trouble eating the tougher hay, wasn’t happy (didn’t seem to be in pain, just really pissy and annoyed with life in general), and the summer was predicted to be much hotter than usual (which it was, there were days that some of the horses were drenched in sweat just standing in the paddock), and it was decided that she would probably be totally miserable living through that.
I had a Morgan who had been our breeding stallion in his youth, we had purchased him when he was 2. I moved, leased him and he was gelded. Fast forward several years. Got the gelding back for my 6 year old stepson’s first horse. We realized after about a year, he had contracted EPM and was now 18 years old. Kept him comfortable for 2 more years. One day I thought he was colicking, he was walking the stall, bumping into walls and uncomfortable. I turned him out in the dry lot next to the barn to do a quick stall clean and wait for the vet. He walked into the barn wall. He was now blind. He did regain some of his sight within the next 24 hours. Very weird. This was in the spring. He was out with the other horses during the day and in the barn at night. We decided to put him down that fall, when the days got short and dusk would fall early. If we were late getting home to feed and it would be dark, he would get so upset and lost in the 2 acre field because the other horses would come charging in and leave him. The other horses would come charging in as soon as they heard the vehicles pull in the drive and he’d be left. He had to walk with his nose 4 inches off the ground to “find” his way to the barn. Whinnying loudly all the way. It happened twice. We had to make the tough decision to put him down. His quality of life had deteriorated and he was beginning to be stressed. For him, it was the right decision. A hard one, but the right decision. I had his tail hair made into a bracelet.
You will make the right decision for him at the right time. My heart goes out to your family. Unfortunately, many of us have been in your shoes and understand your heart ache.
That’s a hard choice, I can see both sides and I can’t really give you an opinion on what I’d do.
At the stable I’ve been riding at for over 6 years, there was a little Morgan mare who was put down a few months ago. She was 36 and had spent the last 3 years in the pasture, retired from giving lessons. She had been sold to the barn at the age of 4 by loving owners. The barn took excellent care of her throughout her life and she never went a day without being cared for and being showered in love. She got regular vet, dentist and farrier visits and was fat and happy. The little girl across the street came over 3 times a week (even after she got her own pony!) and would lead the mare around the property for exercise, feed her treats and groom her.
But her health was declining. Her skin started slipping into poor condition no matter what they did and her coat went from sleek and shinny to ratty looking. She was itchy. Her teeth were worn down to nubbins at this point and her body in general was slowly failing her. The barn owner (and the owner of the mare) decided to put her down. She knew she was uncomfortable, despite the mare not showing it at all. She didn’t want the discomfort to get to the point that the mare couldn’t hide it any more. As you said, horses don’t show their pain unless it’s really bad (when I wasn’t riding “my” mare a while ago I discovered that of the 3 people who had been riding her, I was the only one who ever picked her feet out. Apparently she threw mini-fits when they tried to pick up her feet – something she never did with me, she always had the foot off the ground for me before I could even get to it! – so they gave up on trying. She apparently had a hoof abscess and no one knew. They worked her normally and she didn’t show any signs of pain. The girls got a stern lecture on how they must always check the horse’s hooves). Anyway, the mare was put to sleep while she’s still be mostly comfortable, because her owner didn’t want her experience any unnecessary pain.
Thank you for writing about your difficult decision. Most of us horse people will be there with you someday. The sad truth is that horses can’t tell us when they have had enough of this life. We must choose for them. I wish you the best as you and your family decide what is best for yourselves and for your gelding.
Generally, when they’re ready to go they let you know. As long as he looks happy and still has life in his eyes, keep him around. You will know when it’s time.
You could ask your vet about some regular pain meds if you haven’t already. Yes pain meds aren’t good for them, but at his age and condition he will pass away long before the meds will start creating problems. It will also keep him more comfortable and thus buy you more time before you do finally have to put him down.
I agree. There comes a point when you can’t really make the condition worse, and you may as well go all out spoiling the horse and making them as comfortable as possible in any way you can afford.
I agree. This is the point you go ahead and try to use reasonable pain meds to keep them comfortable and let the course go as it will. I work at a equine hospital, there isn’t an exact answer a lot of times. I hate to feel like I am always trying to euth everyone, but I cannot stand to see horses in pain, with “that look”..but *sigh* I’ve got one of these blurry line beloved pasture pets at home myself. All you can do is wait for the answer. I know its not easy, but you’ll know.
I feel whenever you make the decision will be the best time. You sound like someone who will not rush this for their own convenience or delay it for your own selfishness. You sound like the owner every horse should have to make the decision of when to end their life. Your horse is very lucky to have you as their family. Thank you for taking the time to write this thought provoking and personal article and to share it.
Well put, Theresa.
Reading TDs post and all of the comments made me tear up. I am supposed to be working from home today! My old jumper has been gone 12 years and I will be letting another horse make his decision in the foreseable future. My current Appaloosa teddy bear has “old” teeth, according to our vet. It doesn’t help that he eats like a goat, has choked twice, and will be marking 24 years of life soon. I dread the day.
My old guy lived to be 33 years old and he told us it was time to go. My husband and I were at the barn one evening and knew. Arthritis in his neck had made eating difficult and he had a peculiar smell about him. My husband, bless him, called the vet the next morning and made all the arrangements. My old buddy looked at me with weary eyes as I wrapped him up in his blanket one last time and said goodbye. He had moved four times with us, took many kids on their first ride, and is now buried on a hill on a farm in Virginia.
Excellent post! It’s an issue all of us long-term owners are going to have to face eventually, and you brought up so many of the thoughts that go through my head.
I have a 28 year old QH, and although he’s in excellent weight and shape for his age, he is still 28! I have to be prepared for “that” day.
I don’t know what I’d do in your situation; sometimes the heart rules the mind and vice versa. However, I lean toward one thought: that you two are SO connected, and know eachother SO well, I feel like he’ll let you know when he’s ready. You’ll see it. You’ll feel it. You’ll just “know” it.
Someone once told me that if you’re wishy-washy about a decision, don’t make it. There’s a reason you can’t decide. It’s advice that’s served me well over the years.
If he was mine, I’d see what I could do to make him more comfortable: injections, supplements, something to just take the edge off for him. Then, I’d make sure I continued to provide for him as well as I always have, maybe even better. I’d just enjoy his company and his goofiness, until he decides that he’s ready to move on to his next life.
I really liked the idea that Morganx2 had: when that icky day finally comes, braid his tail and keep it. Have the hair made into bracelets for yourself and your daughter (there are lots of folks you can find online who do this). Or, have a custom vase made, have the hair integrated into the vase, and store the braid inside. A friend of mine did this when she lost her beloved gelding, and she sees that vase every day…he’s still with her.
I believe that when the time is right, it will feel right. You’ll know it in your heart. Until then, just continue to enjoy that soft breath blowing in your face when you kiss the nose hanging over the stall door.
Thanks for writing this post…it was well written and very well-thought out. I enjoyed it, even if it’s a subject we don’t like to discuss…
I really enjoyed this post and think you raised a point that many horse owners struggle with, but don’t like to talk about. A boarder at the barn I’m at had a 33 year old mare, Flurry, who kept up in the herd with 6 much younger horses, and had a great appetite. Despite all this, she looked like a walking skeleton and the flies just sat on her…she didn’t even stomp them off. We actually had animal control called out to the farm because of her. Trust me when I say this woman put EVERYTHING into this horse to keep her weight up and her healthy…but age just wasn’t on her side.
The mare fell several times in the span of a few months and had awful arthritis. She was stoic til the very end, but an experienced eye could tell that she was clearly in pain. She finally made the decision to put her to sleep after she went down to roll one evening and couldn’t get back up. We watched her struggle for 10 minutes – she always had difficulty getting back up, but this time it just wasn’t happening. Four of us went out and managed to get her to her feet, but we thought that if we hadn’t been there, she would have died of exhaustion overnight. Recently we had an incident where a horse got stuck in the fence. His buddies were right there with him, standing guard and looking concerned. When Flurry couldn’t get up, her herd mates turned the other way. We took this as a sign – they seemed to know it was her time. The vet was called out and came to put her to sleep the next day.
I think Flurry’s owner made the right decision, and I agree with the others that are saying “you’ll know when it’s time.” She could not bare to let Flurry have a stressful, painful death like she was headed for that evening – not after she had willingly and faithfully served us for 33 years. She gave her the dignity of a peaceful death, surrounded by the people she trusted and who loved her.
Its always tough to lose a beloved friend… do what is best for him when that isnt enough … then its time… love the memorial idea a guy in Australia (actually a few km from me) makes in-layed jewellery from horsehair.. http://www.equilocks.com.au. if you want some ideas of what can be done….
sorry correct link is http://www.equinelox.com/story.html
They always let you know. I’ve seen it with several friends horses, some whose owners listened, and others that had to suffer longer. I knew it clear as day with both of my own. One was neurologic like yours. He was a happy, healthy lawn ornament for 4 years after his diagnosis, and one day he walked in just a little too wobbly, and I knew it was time. I put him down 2 days later, and 5 days after that was the first giant snowstorm of “snowmageddon” winter 09/10….if I had not listened, he probably would have slipped and broken a leg that winter, or I would have had him locked in a stall and miserable for 3 months through that winter. He was fat, healthy, happy, walked right on the trailer to the vet and was happily munching from a bucket of treats when the pink stuff hit his veins, but I know without a doubt that the time was right. I promise, they let you know
I needed this post. I am in a very similar boat and I’m crying just thinking about it.
Thank you for putting it into perspective.
Gosh, you’re like me! I’ve been thinking about my 27-year-old baby lately, he isn’t getting any younger. He’s pasture sound, but he has high ringbone in his two front legs. He’s still very spunky and very social with the other horses, and on occasion runs and play-fights in the pasture. He’s very well-cared for, but just very old. I want to make him as comfortable as possible, and can’t decide what to do. More MSM? Daily bute? I just don’t know.
I hope that we’ll be able to make the decision when the time comes. I never want to let them go to early or too late.
You do know when it’s time, if you’re really paying attention. Whether they clearly are no longer enjoying life, or it just is time to make that difficult call regardless of how they look, you’ll know.
I have a very old cat that I love like crazy. But he’s started finally having issues and despite my daughter’s thoughts that surely the vet can ‘fix’ anything going wrong, I have had to repeatedly tell her “The vet cannot fix the fact that he’s eighteen years old.” I am not willing to put that cat through discomfort and car rides (which he hates) and vets poking him and drawing blood and x-rays and possible sedation (which could kill him anyway). He’s old, he’s had a great life, he’s been an amazing companion.. and when it is time, he will go peacefully and with dignity intact. That’s what I owe him and I take it very seriously.
I don’t envy your your decision, but all of us with pets end up making it eventually. I never want to be one of those people who lets it go too long, and it sounds like you don’t either. I’m sure you’ll know when it’s time to let him go, and he’s had a lovely life with your family.
It is a terrifying decision, and one I haven’t had to make with my horse yet – but I know, since my gelding (now 7), has had a coffin bone fracture, there’s a good chance he won’t be sound forever because of arthritis, and at some point we may not be able to keep him comfortable. In the meantime, we are enjoying every minute.
I will say, my greyhound told me when it was timef. And my Australian Shepherd (now 14) is close – she’s down to 28 pounds (we’ve tried everything we can think of to get her to eat), mostly deaf, but still loves playing fetch and chasing the frisbee. The day she doesn’t bounce on me on the bed in the morning to go out, or doesn’t want to chase the frisbee will be the day.