This poster was going around facebook yesterday and I loved it, so I shared it. Then a few people started commenting on it with their own signs of impending dirt ingestion and I thought it’d be a fun blog post 
What are your experiences with getting tossed off?
Here, I’ll start with my most recent ones:
- You let your horse walk away from the mounting block before you get your other stirrup thinking “I should really make him stop, that’s a bad habit. Naw, it’s ok, we cool.” We’re not cool.
- You talk about how you should wear your helmet more often (sense has officially been knocked into me, literally)
From facebookers:
- Your horse is bunny hopping bucking and you laugh at your horse and then say out loud “If you want me off your back you’re going to have to buck harder than that!” and then laugh some more. Guarnteed dismount. -Stacy
- Your instructor just asked you to demonstrate an extremely basic movement for the novice rider in your class. -Ellen
- You get told the horse has never bucked, reared, or done anything “silly.” -Ellen
Now you!
(thumbnail photo from pleasurehorse.com)
32 Comments
You a training a horse who bolts and think “I need to hurry up and finish, my bus is in 30 minutes” That one set me back one smashed ankle and six months.
You are menopausal and riding a 5 year old half draft with ADHD issues.
I have pictures of the bruising to prove it.
- You have an appointment after riding for which you need to be reasonably clean.
- The new love of your life has come to watch you ride
As an aside, I used to know a pony who would throw people into the manure heap. He aimed.
He only did it if…
…they were wearing white breeches. PONIES!
And my contribution:
Your instructor just told you your horse is amazingly well behaved and she’s considering trying a milder bit – three strides later he’s imitating something normally kept at Cape Canaveral.
You just told somebody you ‘never fall off’. Particularly if this is your excuse for not wearing a helmet (That one wasn’t me).
You’re doing a jump course and you realize you can shave off a few seconds if you go a different route from the one you walked. On a muddy day. I started the turn. I got up. I asked the ring steward ‘What the heck just happened?’ ‘He fell on you’. SOMEHOW I was *completely unhurt*. So was the horse.
You decide to hop on bareback.
When no one is around to see the 20-something gelding actually throw his first fit ever. Later when you tell people, they roll their eyes and think you simply fell off.
You ask the horse you’re training for a smooth transition to a canter and a lead change.
You hear the words “oh, they only go up about three inches” (rearing)
You’re at an auction and hear “kid, broke, anybody can ride, buy the best!” on a horse swishing their tail with an ugly look in their eye.
You use spurs and a harsh bit in the auction ring, you don’t adjust the tack. Continue trying to force the horse to go. (Free rodeo! Everyone cheers for the horse.)
You’ve been thinking to yourself how glad you are it’s been ages since you last fell.
You feel cocky and like you can ride anything.
You have someone coming to see/try the horse you’re selling.
Your friends are watching.
You’re trying to convince someone that horses aren’t scary monsters of death.
You’re trying to take good pictures for an ad.
You feel angry, tense, upset, or scared and you climb up anyway.
You go out to your horse and just know you don’t want to ride, ignore that and ride anyway.
Your boss puts you on the recently half blind Arabian gelding he picked up at the sale barn for $60.
You buy a horse from the sale that they say is “broke” but don’t ride through.
You’re trail guiding a ride full of kids or nervous people and need your horse to behave.
-You are asked to re-start a 5+yr old horse, the horse is WONDERFUL on the ground, does all gaits wonderfully on the lunge line and line driving. When saddled, the horse is cranking its tail, ears back and you have to really PUSH to get even a trot…
You ask the owner to have the horse looked at by a vet for back issues… fast forward a week or so, she says she did and the vet said the horse is fine.
- Horse is moved from boarding stable to their home, their pasture is the only place to ride, horse is stil exhibiting discomfort while being ridden even when VERY expensive flex tree saddle is used. The owner is having the vet out again for something you again request the horse’s back be looked at.
-Owner realizes they want to sell the horse but after 3+ months, the horse still won’t canter, they want to sell the horse as “green broke, does WTC”….
And finally you get three strides, then the horse bolts, gives a twisting buck and you land ON your shoulder.
Breaking the ball into pieces, you realize you should have insisted on being there for the vet, OR seen the paperwork from the vet…
AND you need surgery, and as your prize for allowing the owner to dictate how and when you ride the horse, AND not listen to the horse telling you something..
You get a titanium shoulder joint, pain every day in the muscles and no rotator cuff and no bicep!!!
Yes this happened to me, and on top of that the owner wanted me to come out and “supervise” another person and help sell the horse…
Oh, here’s another one.
Your instructor asks you to canter sassy pony. ALL of your gut instinct says ‘Don’t. He’s in a bad mood.’ Perfect canter transition, one beautiful stride, twisting rodeo buck. (And trust me, ponies are FAR harder to stay on than horses). You tell the trainer ‘He’s mad because we pulled him out in the middle of the class to replace a lame horse’. They say ‘No. I think he spooked at something’.
Three days later, they pull the sassy pony out in the middle of class again…and he does the exact same thing to somebody else…
Trust your instincts.
* Putting rides on a green horse that “has never bucked”
* Your horse is being better behaved than normal on the trail
* You decide to ride in the indoor arena with the horse eating gate.
* You get on your daughters pony
and my favorite
*you get on a pony whose registered name is Himbucktoo.
Big, muscular OTTB- always been good as gold suddenly finds Big Bomber horse fly on croup, directly fore of tail head. OTTB, just drenched in very expensive “endurance” fly spray AKA “Cocktails before Dinner!” swishes tail vigorously to no avail. Big Bomber repostions in same area for better access w/ hacksaw blades. OTTB swishes harder & bounces a little to left & right. Still can’t dislodge Bomber & 50+ year old rider can’t see where it is. 10 more seconds of twitching & swishing & OTTB is frantic, begins to gallop flat out. Still being bitten:includes bucking worthy of any NRHA event. 50+ YO rider still hanging on while OTTB hits 40 MPH while bucking right, left & in a spiral. Eventually- WAY past the 8 second buzzer, rider goes airborne, falls as correctly as possible for a H/J/D rider for nearly 40 years. Ground baked hard as iron & 50+year old humerus snaps like dry twig. OTTB runs back to rider, apologetically nuzzles her & says he didn’t mean it. Big noisy ambulance comes for 50+ YO who spends Labor Day in ER getting yelled at by MDs, RNs & X ray personnel asking what the hell a 50 YO is doing on an OTTB !?! (As soon as bone ends stop moving around in plastic clamshell immobilizer & horse flies done for the year, 50+ YO rider is back on her OTTB who is glad to see her). OTTB now wears nice blue “party dress” mesh quarter sheet when ridden during fly season. Never bucked before, or in the 5 years since.
You have forgotten, in your dotage, just how silly a yearling can be, especially when coming toward you in the paddock. Slam!
You used Show Sheen on your horse at any point in the past two years.
You decide to ride your husband’s super safe loves everyone but you horse. You really don’t like the super safe loves everyone horse but you tell yourself that today will be the day you and that horse will have a magical Disney moment… Then said horse decides that because he is a lazy ass and bucking on flat ground would probably be hard work and may not end in an unscheduled dismount, that he would wait till the perfect moment when you are going down a hill and then buck!!! My magical Disney moment was a lot closer to when Spirit bucked off the general. (Only person that horse has every bucked off)
You watch your barrel racing daughter being launched 15 feet in the air by your normally well-behaved 6 year old mare who now has turned into a PRCA saddle bronc at a local show between the 2nd and 3rd barrels. Turns over 2 times and slams back down to earth on her back. You freak out, leaping the arena fence and running to your child, discover she only has the wind knocked out of her (*whew*). Technically, she didn’t “eat dirt” that time….You learn from the local vet (who was also showing at that particular show) who examines your horse (thinking it was a bee sting or an injury or something along those lines) that the saddle you have always used on her since being broke in is now pinching her back since she’s grown out of it. Learn something new everyday….it never once crossed my mind that the saddle we had trained her in, which was carefully selected to fit her perfectly, was now too narrow for her back. She never showed us the slightest inclination it was hurting her…or so we thought. Now we look back and remember he pinning her ears and wringing her tail once in a while, which we thought was her just being cranky. Went right out and found one that fit her (again) and have NEVER had that mare buck again. Wonder how many of these “bucks now for no reason” horses people advertise on CL are using the same saddle the horse was trained in when it was younger.
My horse has a saddle with an adjustable tree. Since being backed he’s gone up four sizes until eventually outgrowing the saddle altogether and is now in an extra wide version. To be honest though, whenever he needed to go up a size the saddle never looked ‘wrong’ or different in any way and his back never looked sore so it would have been quite easy to overlook and put down to ‘youngster behaviour’ when he did the odd little buck. I expect there are many many horses in the situation you’ve described who just need a visit from a decent saddler.
You think, “Oh, I’ve lunged him and he was acting like a good boy! This should be a piece of cake!”
You say before leaving on a trailride ” I know the weather guys said rain today, but I sure dont see it!” and an hour later and 4 miles from the trailhead a B!*@h of a storm comes up and you and your horse gets zapped by lightning that hit WAY too close for comfort. I ate mud, not dirt. Not fun. Survived, but felt like I died.
I agree with any time, “you decide to hop on bareback”! I’ve only come off once when I *wasn’t* riding bareback.
But will add..
.-You decide your cranky mare really needs to walk through that puddle in the arena (not jump it) even though you’re riding with just a halter on. (FYI pulling back hard while also clinging with a death grip with your legs= bucking in a sensitive mare)
-You decide that yes, you are experienced enough/have enough balance to try to ride in an english saddle (boyfriend hahaha)
-You decide to hop on with no halter, bridle, or saddle because you’re just moving the horse to it’s turnout (boyfriend again)
-You correct your horse by backing it up quickly… straight into the electric fence (bareback again)
-You’re racing a friend down a trail, and you wonder if your horse will keep going through the mud puddle that’s appeared directly in front of you- the answer is no.
When you invite the trainer (who returned your horse to you after deeming him a brainless knuckle head) on a trail ride. Just after she commented on how well he was working he decided to prove himself by having me do a face plant when he decided to spook -at nothing.
I’ve seen both bareback and show sheen mentioned.
I know somebody who tried to hop on bareback ten minutes after applying show sheen.
Word to the wise: Don’t do it.
On the Show Sheen note, I have a friend who at a 4H show was entered in the bareback class. Another girl in her group who didn’t like her put Show Sheen on my friend’s horse to make it impossible to stay on. Teenage girls are evil.
You decided to ride your horse in the lesson you are teaching, mainly so you don’t have to walk and can demonstrate. Never do it! Watched my friend and co-instructor stack it over a XC jump after the 10yo intermediate kids we were teaching dared her that she couldn’t do it.
Hop on the kids pony to sort it out, ‘give her to me she’s being a bitch’.
Omg my main one would have to be, ride a pony for someone looking to purchase. How is it I ended up on my ass from a bolt that no one rein stop could save off the bomb proof 13.2hh kids pony that I was helping them sell!
You figure “Oh, this pony should be good for me, they got him from a therapeutic riding program”. As Jennifer R noted, ponies are *a lot* harder to stay on than horses (:
my favorite- BO was SURE my bit was too harsh (dee ring snaffle w/ copper rollers for a fidgety mouthed Arab) so talked me into trying a Mylar french link. He trotted around fine for a minute, stared flipping his head, then decided to bolt 5 stridtes, prop & toss me over the arena fence. Switched back to his bridle, he was fine. Never let anyone who doesn’t ride your horse regularly talk you into new tack.
You are really pleased that your mount is going soooo well & you decide to repeat the lovely movement when someone is watching,big head = splat every damn time !
You are carrying the reward sweeties in a neat little black bag fastened on with it’s own neat clip, bag sails off passing pony’s head on the way down, cue pony dead stop to rapid reverse aarrrrgh!!!
When the person funding your lessons, comes to watch.
Also, “This guy has never spooked!”
I set out on a trail ride last fall on my very calm horse. Had the thought, “I wonder if my girth needs to go up another hole” and went, naw, Im just going for a walk, I’m sure it’s fine. You can all see where this is going! Bird flies out of bush into face of horse… Horse does a 180 spin to get outta there… I stick with the spin and am congratulating myself on my awesome riding through the spook when I realize I am looking at the underside of my horse’s belly. Had to do the walk of shame back to the barn without the horse.
You turn to the other people in the class and say ‘This horse is green. Don’t do what I do’.
Five minutes later. ‘Really don’t do what I do’…
You see a storm brewing and want to finish your lesson over fences before the rain hits.
You ride the horse you started and trained with a new saddle (not your own) with stiff stirrups, to get the “wiggles” out. You think “Damn stiff stirrups” adjust them and pick yourself up off the ground, because you goosed the horse and he launched you.
The one time you don’t use a mounting block, the horse turns into a pogo stick.
You are taking your 20+ yr old hunter gelding out for a new lesson and the wheelbarrel (or other object) is in a different place and he turns into a park saddle horse.
Ride number 3 of any green horse.
The first time your hot-house-flower-show horse sees a cow.
In the case of my old instructor, she had just consoled a scared little girl into actually getting on the horse during a riding camp by assuring her that the old schoolmaster she was riding was completely safe, never bucked, bolted, reared, bit, anything. Little girl got on, as soon as she’d taken 3 steps on that horse, someone kicked their stall and mare launched herself off the wall. Little girl came off. Mare had never spooked before then and has never spooked since. Little girl was alright, just frightened and a bit bruised.